Betty ford says i'm here all night
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i would punch a child for taco bell
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize