i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize