this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
