I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
