Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
