He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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