Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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