I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
