I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she pinky promised me she was 18
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
