awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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