I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The feeling are messing with the penis
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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