i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
