It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
