i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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