I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
