what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
