Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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