I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize