So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
