i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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