My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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