You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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