No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
