Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver