Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay