the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother