he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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