Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
