David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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