There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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