I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
