I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
