she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Come on in and take your pants off
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
