Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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