yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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