I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
