We named our party play list daddy issues
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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