I CAN MOONWALK!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize