I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
