Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
