so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize