Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
