my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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