Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
