sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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