Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
