before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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