Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
