the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
