Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
this will be a night to untag.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
