Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
