You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize