PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
