So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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