Can Purell be used as lube?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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