i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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