so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
