I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
