We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
