I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
