Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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