Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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